i’ve been in a weird mood lately, completely uninspired to cook the things that make me happy, the things that make me excited about food (it’s pretty clear in the writing of my last post), and i want to share with you all the reason why. i’ve been worrying a too much about healthy eating lately. i’ve been stressed about how i look on camera, how i look in my summer clothing; i’m surrounded by people who are often talking about their weight, or what they’re restricting from their diet, and how they’re “eating clean” and it gets a little bit contagious. i’ve been finding myself counting calories, feeling guilt when i eat something “bad” like carbs, and seeing the imperfect parts of my body and feeling shame.
another thing that’s made me take a step back from cooking lately is in response to one of my instagram stories where i’ve been posting recipes, i was told that i should be providing people healthy alternatives to what i’m making, that no one wants to be eating unhealthy foods anymore. i should tell them what to replace oil, cheese, etc with, and a shadow of self doubt came over me and i felt pretty discouraged. i started asking myself: do people not like what i’m making? is that why i don’t have as many instagram followers as other accounts? maybe i need to re-evaluate the kind of content i’m creating to cater to the current fad?
after a lot of evaluation and internal conflict with myself, i’ve realized a few things:
1: i’m probably the only one who cares what i look like on camera, in my summer clothes, or at any time, really. if there are people who care, they can kindly fuck off.
2. i know this is nothing new, but struggling with body image will always be an issue in today’s world. we’re literally assaulted by images and videos all day long of models, in all of their airbrushed and photoshopped glory; and (more relatable) perfectly curated photos of bloggers who seem to eat way more “bad” foods than i eat and are half my size, and you can’t help but want that. but i always remind myself: i will never look like that. even if i ate like tom brady and giselle and worked out like crazy, i simply just wouldn’t look like that. i look like me and i’ve gotten along pretty great at life looking like me so far, so why should i want to look any different.
3. I LOVE FOOD. i love food wayyyy too much to ever feel guilty for eating it. i have balance in my life, i go to the gym almost every day, sometimes twice a day. i am healthy. carbs are NOT the enemy, they are the love of my life and as long as i keep a healthy balance, my love handles aren’t hurting anyone. also, fucking YOLO. when i’m super old, i’m never, ever going to look back and wish that i hadn’t eaten that bowl of pasta or that dessert.
4. my instagram followers are NOT related to my self worth. i started this blog simply because i love sharing my passion for food with people. yes, i want to turn it into a business, and yes, buying into this raw, vegan, avo-toast whatever fad that’s happening would probably get me more likes and more followers and help me make a living quicker, but that’s not me. my food philosophy has always been about eating to enjoy eating, and cooking with whole, good quality ingredients and love. pasta ISN’T bad for you! cheese ISN’T bad for you! there’s an audience out there for me, and i want to stay true to myself and just share with you the foods that i’m passionate about. the people will find me one day!
with ALL OF THAT BEING SAID. let’s move on and talk about this PASTA! i haven’t made pasta in quite some time because of all of the reasons above, but i’m back with a vengeance. my wonderful new friend, ema had recently made an asparagus pesto, which is the inspiration for this dish. i’ve mixed asparagus and ricotta together to make little pockets of earthy, creamy goodness. they only need to be topped with a bit of olive oil and cheese for maximum enjoyment. they’re perfect just the way they are!
i hope you guys take something away from this post, aside from the deliciousness of this ravioli. self doubt is hard, but know that you are always your own worst critic. stay true, cause you are all as beautiful as ravioli to me! <3
asparagus ricotta ravioli
200 grams of 00 flour (all purpose flour works as well)
2 large eggs
1 bunch asparagus, chopped
1/3 tub ricotta, drained
salt & pepper
to make the pasta: dump the flour on to a non-stick work surface and create a little well in the middle. add the eggs and use a fork to whisk the eggs together incorporating the flour bit by bit. once you have a raggy dough, use your hands and a pastry cutter to bring the rest of the dough together, and knead for about 10 minutes until you have a smooth ball. wrap in plastic wrap and let rest for 30 minutes.
to make the filling: drain the ricotta overnight in cheesecloth to remove the liquid. add to a food processor with the asparagus, egg and salt and pepper. blend until smooth.
assembly: roll out the dough until it’s thin enough that you can see the shadow of your hand through it. cut into even squares and add about half a tablespoon of filling to the center. fold over, pressing the edges together to remove any air. dip your fingers in water and seal.
cook the ravioli in a large pot of salted boiling water until they begin to float to the surface. this should only take 5 minutes. drain, add to serving bowl and drizzle with olive oil, a squeeze of lemon and lots of parmesan cheese.